oldeyorke wants you.

my life as a movie: 

i don't want to set anything up for you to get you up to speed.  instead, i'm just going to jump right into it.

right now is the part of the movie where everything is going good, but there's one unresolved situation that you know will end the movie as soon as it is resolved. 

except the movie ends before it is resolved.  you're all, "what the fuck?".

you expect a sequel, but you know it'll never come.  you then realize it isn't the movie you should be following, it's the director and/or screenwriter.  so you follow their stuff and find loose connections between each flick. 

but still, that first movie ended without a complete resolution.  you start to come up with those "what if" to satisfy your desire for completion.  this is where you try to exert control in order to feel safe.

hopefully you'll realize that every movie made by the director and/or screenwriter was an experiment of expression.  furthermore, you can't control this expression, only become a part of it.  otherwise your own movie will suddenly become unfocused because you decided that you'd rather work on somebody else's.

eventually the loose connections between the director and/or screenwriter's movies become more and more solid to the point where his first film and his current film become one uninterrupted marathon of his expression.

then the whole thing ends.  that's it.  no more productions.  so what's there to watch?

just follow the ripples he created.  you'll soon find somebody else to watch.

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here's the dumbed down plot summary of my movie:  i'm a moody motherfucker. 

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thanks for reading.

- the key to life is staying busy.  sitting around gets you thinking about things you shouldn't be thinking about, eg thinking about doing something as opposed to actually doing it.  if you ain't moving, you're dead.

- i'm going to go from being kebonito to tito kev,  any day now.

- new macbook pro in june.

- more hustling in june.  fuck it, more hustling everyday. 

- summer: the beach, the park, and my backyard.

- hustle.

excerpt:

Geeks get things done
Geeks know all the shortcuts. They research your interests, send you surprise gifts, plan your perfect vacation, get the bills and grocery shopping out of the way, write to their mothers, and tease you mercilessly, all while pretending to work. And when you ask them to set up your home Wi-Fi or install a home theater, it's done quickly, expertly and without complaint.

In other words, geeks know how to get everything else out of the way so there's more time for lovemaking.

and my favorite...

Geeks are hot...
...and wear the coolest glasses.

Read more: http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/sexdrive/2007/04/sexdrive_0406

mp3 download: Charles Wright - Express Yourself

the biggest thing for me right now is expressing myself.  most people see it as "kevin is being weird again", but for the most part they enjoy it.  luckily for me, expressing myself doesn't require me to hurt anybody (well, sometimes i physically hurt myself.  but i'm a big boy and all injuries are usually superficial and are planned for).  

the other day i was listening to some original samples and "express yourself" by Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band came on.  it hit me like a ton of bricks.  you'd probably recognize it, as NWA sampled it for the song that goes by the same title.  anyhow, it was the following lyric that made me stop walking down the subway platform and give the track a rewind:

"It’s not what you look like, when you’re doin´ what you’re doin´.
It’s what you’re doin´ when you’re doin´ what you look like you’re doin´!"

i thought to myself, "true story".  then this gem comes after the bridge:

"Some people have everything, and other people don’t.
But everything don’t mean a thing if it ain´t the thing you want."

fuckin' right.

i could go on and on about how applying these simple teachings to your life will make you a better person, but i won't.  y'all are somewhat intelligent so i'll let you figure these things out for yourself.  it's pretty damn simple, people.

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oh, and this one is just a straight up fuckin' good time:
Nujabes - World's End Rhapsody

aight then.

this was written in november 2006; the point when i not only started to get out of depression, but when i started making moves towards making my life my own.  it was definitely a kick in the ass, and the friends who read it couldn't sit down after consuming it.  enjoy.

i think people throw around the term "adult" too much.  it is often assumed that once you turn 18, 19, or 20 and your body is fully developed, you are part of the grown up world and can now call yourself an adult.  in reality, most 18 to 28 year olds are irresponsible and are still the sheep they were in high school.

i mean, if i have to say "responsible adult" instead of "adult" to refer to someone who is doing their thing with maturity, and handling - really handling - their own responsibilities, i have to ask, why the distinction?  but more importantly, why do we give ourselves so much credit?

it seems that the quest for eternal youth by the baby boom generation has kept them and their offspring in a state of permanent infancy.  we still play video games well into our 30s and 40s.  we have romanticized the idea of being a kid forever and glorified those with childlike imaginations.  we are given the right to whine and complain about the most insignificant things, only to expect to achieve without hardship.

we really need to define ourselves as a generation.  the internet - possibly the greatest invention in the past half century - is something our generation can be both proud and ashamed about.  proud because it has revolutionized the way information (our most valuable resource) is distributed.  ashamed because most of the information is about who is fucking who, the video of them fucking, and the millions of rants about them fucking.  the evolution of a culture is dependent on information.  unfortunately, the information most widely disseminated on the internet is distorted without end.  as a result, our generation has a distorted view of ourselves;  we have no real identity;  we hopscotch through life without a sense of who we really are.

we are an ambitious bunch, but with no follow through.  maybe we are lazy because we don't know how to follow our dreams.  that is a safe argument you could easily make at the dinner table. 

but how about this: maybe our dreams and aspirations are distorted by the society we inherited.  we are all lining up to take whatever shit-filled rations the baby boomers are going to leave us.  why would we want to become the same thing our ancestors were by doing the same things they did?  why can't we just strike out on our own?  why don't we create our own destinies from scratch?

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the revolution will not be televised.  it'll be on youtube.  then somebody is going to lip-sync to the revolution on youtube.  and then youtube will take down the videos because they infringed on too many copyrights.  then t-shirts of the revolution are going to be made, mostly worn by the fictional characters of reality tv shows and their fervent followers.  and then the revolution nike lows will come out in 4 different colourways, the first colour being a limited release available only to revolutionaries who are "in the scene".  the revolution stock market bubble will burst, which will spark the evolution of revolution to revolution 2.0.  but really it'll be the old revolution, the difference being that the new revolution will come in mild, extra mild, and bootcut.

or the struggle to be understood.

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i really hate being misunderstood.  i really really really hate it.  i look into somebody's eyes, try to tell them a story from beyond the depths of my soul, and all i get is that blank stare and no response.  argh.  just stab me already.

lets call that murder.

now what could be worse than murder?  suicide.  uh huh.  the inability to express oneself is pretty much chugging the drano while letting the blood seep out of your arteries.

i'm pretty fuckin' tired with all this creative, emotional and intellectual death that has been surrounding me for the past bit.  i've managed to breathe life into life with honesty and truth, but i'll be damned if murder and suicide is waiting to get back into my little ol' piece of heaven; the reality i've finally decided to conquer and make my own.

argh, enough anger.  how about some good stuff?

okay.  wanna know what makes my day?  the fact that i attract creative and honest people.  the fact that they know my worth and i know their's, and our values are increasing exponentially the more time we spend investing in our creativity and our truths. 

even our mistakes our beautiful, just as long as they're honest.  and do you know what's great about these mistakes?  they aren't really mistakes at all, just really powerful lessons that turn into stepping stones to higher ground.

if you can't see that, if you can't see what an honest mistake really is, then you're bound to be murdered. 

and if you can't forgive those whose honest mistakes have affected you, well, make sure you don't hit anybody on the sidewalk when you're jumping to your death.

i've had a secret love affair with stenciling ever since i was a kid.  my sister was the queen of stationery and i distinctly remember her having letter stencils in her bottom desk drawer.  i'd use it as much as i could; labeling books that belonged to me, adding titles to my dinosaur drawings, and sometimes just for the sake of running my pencil around the edges of different letters.

i remember rotating the stencil so that i could write words in circles.  i even did overlaps to make it look somewhat 3d.

i think i still have a shreddies ruler / stencil combo that i used so much that the sections of cardboard based stencil are torn off.  it was with this ruler / stencil that i moved from outlines of letters to filling them in with highlighters.

fast forward over a decade and stencils are all the craze...  but not really.  it's coming up but hardly anybody around is interested in it.  well, they talk about it, but that's about it.  they don't sit down for hours with an exacto knife, cutting out hundreds of little pieces of cardboard / plastic just to make the piece look right.  they are ignorant to the fact that you need the foresight to keep your stencil solid (ie avoiding the creation of an "island"; a piece of your stencil that is not attached to the rest of the stencil, thus creating an island; a part of the stencil that sits by itself).

when i was working as a stock boy at the shoe store, i'd often have nothing to do.  sometimes i'd read a magazine, other times i would just sit there, listen to music, and daydream.   one day, as i was daydreaming about god knows what, i saw a "laurentian chief" cardboard display sitting on top of the power box.  i noticed that the image of the chief's face was composed of many pieces that were asking to be cut out.  it had been many years since i did anything remotely close to arts and crafts, but i guess the fact that a girl i was seeing at the time was heavy into scrapbooking and i was so damn bored that i started cutting out the stencil.  next thing you know, it's closing time and i'm halfway done the stencil... and i'm actually staying after work to try to finish the stencil.  it took about two and a half days to cut out all the pieces, but i was in a state where it felt like an eternity.  i really wanted to see what the stencil would finally look like.

i call one of my coworkers down to the stockroom to participate in the stencil debut.  he had been watching me cut the stencil out and would constantly say "this is going to be dope.  it's gonna look so sweet".  he was my stencil making cheerleader.

spray paint and packing tape in one hand, the chief stencil in the other, we taped up the stencil to piece of plywood and starting spraying.  note: don't spray aerosols in unventilated, mold encrusted shoe store stockrooms.  you'll die. 

my coworker was right.  it was dope.  it looked sweet.

the chief stencil was so impressive that people starting asking me if i had other stencils in my arsenal.  some even asked for the chief stencil to be sprayed on a shirt (which i gave as my kris kringle present to one of my other coworkers).  i then knew what i could accomplish in the realm of stencils.  it seemed like i had an innate talent for planning my cuts and visualizing what the final product would look like (and even visualizing which areas would need more spray paint and which would need less).

unfortunately, that was to be the only stencil i'd ever make... up to this day.  what can i say?  i was busy gettin' busy with the female.  i also went to japan.  then i got depressed.  i'm gonna save the depressed story for later...

so now that i'm not with the female and i've gotten out of the depression, i'm on a creative blitz.  i started with the basics: photography, programming, reading, writing.  then i saw what bansky did with his stencils... he pretty much created a completely different perspective for me.  i started reading stenciling websites, following forums and looking at other people's stencils.   but still i did not make a stencil.  i had no idea what i'd make.

until yesterday.

yesterday i went on a graffiti tour with two talented individuals.  let's call them brad and justin.  we went around to spots brad knew were hot with graf and he even schooled us on technique.  well, it was mostly for justin, i couldn't draw to save my life.  thats not to say i wasn't interested in technique, but i wasn't getting the vaseline ready like those two characters.

what it did do was make me want to make a stencil.  it even gave me an idea of what my stencil image was going to be.  finally, a real stencil project that is to be completely of my own imagination and work.  exciting!

so in the next week or so i'm hoping to have a stencil in the works, if not done.  i'll be sure to share the finished product.

bye.

man, if i didn't have laundry to do and a bedroom to clean up, i'd be all over this.

so, how about we get together in the next few days and i'll explain what i'm all about.  sounds good?  it'll be great, my bedroom will be super neat and my clothes won't smell like cigarette smoke, and i'll be totally focused on me and you.  i'm not just doing this for me, you know, i'm doing it for you as well.

i won't get too philosophical, but we're all bundled together by rubber bands of energy.  if we get too far apart, we'll either snap our bond or we'll come flying back to each other.  so don't go too far from me because my rubber bands have been snapping a lot lately.